Monday, May 27, 2019

I take it back

I think I probably am a food addict.

Not sure what that means for the long haul, but it seems like I do much better when I don’t have trigger foods - sugar, white pasta, white rice, white potatoes, salty stuff, fried stuff, and maybe animal products.

I’m out of control and not liking me very much.

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Food addictions

I have read and heard a whole lot regarding food addictions. I have done a fair bit of abstaining, eating no sugar or refined flour for months, then having something and then eating everything. I have had seasons when I ate clean for 2 weeks or 1 week and then had a cheat/treat meal and then did it again.

I have heard experts say that it doesn’t work to be in my situation, because I cook and clean up for lots of eaters all day every day, and they eat things that I do not. Like cereal, bread, pizza, pasta. I cannot feed all my people the way I eat, though I am nudging them my direction. The abstinence people (who I hold in high regard) say, “if it’s in my house, it’s in my mouth”. If the food is present, I will eventually eat it.

I have mulled these ideas around over and over. [spoiler alert: this is an open ended internal conversation - I do not know the answer.] Am I an addict, similar to an alcoholic, that cannot have one drink/brownie/bite?

On the other hand, I feel it is possible that the idea of abstinence can be in itself detrimental - because any deviation from the plan becomes a once-in-a-lifetime rapidly closing window of opportunity to eat everything wonderful that I will never again taste. Binge card.

Food addiction is not the same as alcohol or drug addiction. I do not put anyone, myself included, in mortal danger when I overeat. I have never passed out from eating too much. Eating is legal. Eating does not put me in a drastically altered state of impaired judgement or awareness.

On the other hand, there are real and significant similarities. I make poor health choices when I eat sugar or bread or pasta. I have more self control when I don’t eat a bite of unhealthy food. I have been known to do ridiculous things for the sake of eating more junk. I can and do absolutely eat myself to the point of feeling quite uncomfortable on a regular basis. And I do real damage to my health and indirectly to the health of those watching when I overeat on a consistent basis.

The other thing I think about is this: I am not just a byproduct of evolutionary process. I have the Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwelling in me. I have the fruit of the Spirit, which includes patience, peace, faith, and self control. I get to choose.

This I where I am with this today: I think I am much more successful in making healthy choices when I a) have not already had junk (mercies are new every morning, and I am better at using my self control muscle when I have been doing it) and b) I do so much better avoiding bad foods when I focus on eating what is good for me, foods that heal me, foods that fight cancer and diabetes and heart disease: all things green, especially cruciferous veggies, other veggies, beans (preferably made by me without salt), onions, cooked mushrooms, berries and other fruits, and a limited amount of nuts and seeds.

I’m avoiding animal products and processed foods because they are not my friends, they do not benefit me and they are often concentrated in flavor and hard to stop eating. Mostly when I have a treat, it is within those boundaries. But sometimes, I think I will have something off the plan. And then I will go right back to the plan. Because I can go off again some other time.