Monday, October 04, 2010

lonely

One of the reasons my life suits me (the life where I live in a house with a dozen other people) is that I don't love to be alone. In fact, I do not function well.

I know people who are "introverts". My husband is one. An introvert, by definition, is someone who turns in to regroup, to renew their strength. I do not understand this.

When I know I am going to be alone, I have good intentions of using the time well. I pack things I wish I had time to do, drawing supplies, books, my Bible. But the reality is that after a pretty brief moment of strength, I descend into the least impressive version of me, watching movies and eating for comfort.

Thankfully, I have a little tiny human keeping me sort of on track, and of course I am comforted by my Savior. But I find I am much more likely to draw near even to Him when in the middle of a tornado than while in a place of complete rest and peace.

Well, okay, there is a limit to the rest. It goes for about 2 hr stretches, and then is interrupted by said tiny human. We are trying a supplemental nursing system, which means we're getting much of the benefit of breastfeeding with all the inconvenience of bottles (and then some).

Again, I am very grateful. Very.

But I miss home. My 6 year old lost one of his front teeth. I saw it on facebook.

God's timing is perfect. I trust Him. I will press in.

Learning to lean . . .

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