Even in the presence of the King?

I am, among other things, a worship leader.

Once I was trying to have more men model worship in our church. We have several men on different worship teams, but the vast majority of them play an instrument. The few that do not play an instrument serve as singers. But I was hoping to get some men who are manly men, not necessarily musically inclined, to come an model worship. Men who are expressive in their relationship to God, not because they are expressive by nature, but because they really respond to the Lord when they encounter Him.

So I was on a quest, asking these godly, manly worshipping men to come on the platform with me and just do what they do, no microphone, but where people could see them. I was turned down flat. The reason given: I think it would just be too distracting with all those people looking at me.

That was understandable. But my problem was, look, buddy, I have to deal with those distractions every time I get up there.

There are so many distractions for people serving on the platform. Who is that? I've never seen him before. I need to remember to pick up this thing and drop that thing off. Did I close the garage door? I wonder if she is still mad at me? Am I flat? Is my skirt long enough? The lights are hot. I can't hear the bass. The drums are too loud. I can't hear myself. What do these words mean? I am so sick of this song. I sound terrible. I sound fantastic!

But isn't that true for everyone? Don't we all feel a barage of distractions during worship?

Last night I had the huge privilege of playing keyboard along side a favorite worship leader and friend, Mr. Chris DuPre. And I was fighting all the usual battles. And I felt the struggle between self-awareness and true worship. And I thought I heard, or felt, or was aware of another battle. A battle waged on my behalf.

Because, as I've said before, I not only believe in a real God, but also in a real satan. A real enemy who really hates God and gets at Him any way he can, often by taking shots at His beloved. And I think I heard my King, my Bridegroom, the Lover of my soul say to my enemy that line that King Ahaserous chastised Haman with long ago.

"Will you even assault the queen in the presence of the King?" Will you even try to wound and distract and take down my bride, even as she has come to worship me?

And it helped me to simply ignore everything but the face of my Jesus.

It was profound. I don't know that it will mean as much to anyone else, but for me, to know that He fights for me, that all power is His, that I have nothing to fear, that He wants all of me. I am content.