Messed up.

This week we went to our church's day camp. So our little crew of home bodies was out and about from 7:45 a.m. till nearly 5 every day. We packed 60 or so lunches (at least one of the small people was committed to packing his own, er, "lunch" even though a big person had done it for him), washed everyone's uniform each night, took dimes on "dime day" and swim suits and towels on water day. We washed just enough dishes to get by, used disposable diapers, and were singularly triumphant in avoiding fast food all but one day.

Those were our successes.

We neglected our little world dreadfully, otherwise. We once again have a laundry hall rather than a laundry room, no counter space in the kitchen, and my bedroom resembles a clearing house of everyone's belongings. This morning was full of mournful cries, including but not limited to: can't find my crocs, can't find any shirts, don't have any clean underwear.

The eldest: I can't remember the last time our house was this dirty.

I cleaned the non-garbage disposal drain and found that something had sprouted, a seed of some kind. I should put it in dirt and see who it turns out to be.

Other things seem to have sprouted, as well. Like, the idea that life should be fun all day every day. Or, the notion that work is someone else's job. The little ones think they need to have shoes on before breakfast is over, they shouldn't let mom out of their sight, and first time obedience is a thing of yesteryear.

And everyone is exhausted.

Including me. I noticed one middle of the night that (t.m.i. alert) I had hardly any pee in me. It dawned on me that for days running, I had been drinking coffee and not water.

The principle was profound. I drank to feel better, not to be better. So I was worse. And the cycle continued. My body was needing hydration, and I was mistaking the cues.

Yesterday, I had the brilliant idea (sarcasm.) of going to visit friends who live an hour away. It really was fun. And it really was stupid. My family needed to stay home and do nothing. We did the opposite.

I seem to have a messed up way of handling hard. I'm tired, so I drink diuretics. I'm lonely, so I eat. I'm frustrated, so I yell and scream.

Take a deep breath. Take a big drink of water. Take a small nap. Start over.

Children will do chores. Babies will take naps. Laundry will be cleaned, and sorted, and put away. Dishes will be done. The Bible will be read. Training will happen. And gradually, we will return to our version of normal and our rendition of order.