how do you do it? part 4, i think

One thing I think people wonder about when you have a bunch of children is how (if) you maintain your sanity. They say things like, "I can barely handle my two," and they kind of imply that either I am supermom (which I am, because I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, Philippians 2:13) or that I'm certifiably insane (you may be right, I may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for, Billy Joel).

When I had my first few children, I kept my sanity due in large part to those sacred two hours a day known as nap-time. That was my moment to re-group, to rest, to read, clean, relax, SHOWER. That was ME-time. I remember a friend talking about letting her children skip a nap and go to bed early, and I was horrified at the thought. Give up the nap? I'd sooner cut off my right hand than give up the nap!

But there comes a time in everyone's life, unless you live in Latin America (I don't), when people give the nap up. I'm not saying it's right. I think the British and Latins are onto something. In the afternoon, everyone should either have tea or a siesta. But we don't.

And for us, about the time a child stops taking a nap, they start school. When my oldest child began her education, we did it during nap-time. Whammo! Just like that, my me-time became her-time, school-time. Thankfully, about that time, I read a book by Vickie Farris (wife of hslda founder Michael Farris, mother of 10) called "A Mom Just Like You" and she talked about this very thing (funny, i really did think the fact that she had 10 children sounded quite ridiculous).

She said, roughly, that she basically give up the idea of me-time, and learned instead to trust God to sustain her. I agree with this. It is a struggle at first, but I learned to lean, not on that scheduled oasis, but on Jesus Himself to provide for me. My times to regroup are not always predictable, not always regular, not always what I expect.

I need to point out, God has made me to be my husband's helpmeet, not the other way around, so I am careful not to tear my husband down to build myself up. He does not come home to relieve me. I do not go off duty when he walks in the door. My obligations are to love and serve Jesus, to love and support my husband, and to love and care for my children. But I have found, really truly, if I give myself to God and to the tasks of being helpmeet to the man God gave me, and mother and teacher to the children He gave me, I can trust Him to meet my needs.

And He does give me everything I need. He sustains me with His Word, with His presence, with the friends He gives me, through my husband and even through my children. He gives me joy in the morning, when I'd rather roll over and sleep some more. He gives me rest, even when the night is too short and I was up twice, nursing, cleaning up puke, or putting clean sheets on a peed-in bed. He gives me beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. He heals my broken heart, and helps me dance. He helps me forgive when I'm wounded, trust when I've been betrayed, and hope when I feel like giving up. He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness. He anoints my head with oil, my cup is overflowing!

Jesus is my bread, my life, and everything I need. He is the secret of any success I have, and the solution to every problem I face. Because this is true, and as they see it in action, I also point my children to seek Him in every situation, including potty training, sickness, wants and needs, loneliness, rejection, discipline, and frustration with math problems. If I can wear a path with them to the Cross that they travel on their own later, I will have succeeded as a mother, regardless of where they live, how much money they make, whether or not they marry or have children, what they scored on the standardized tests, or if they ever get a driver's license.

Jesus is enough. He is enough for people with two children, 19 children or no children. He is enough for women who have lost their husband, left their husband, have a great husband or lousy or alcoholic husband or no husband at all. He is enough for the wealthiest Wall Street tycoon or the poorest beggar. He is enough for the man living in the White House or the man living in the mud hut. Those who put their trust in Him will not be put to shame. He is enough for me.

Everything else is gravy.