Thursday, April 07, 2011

How you do it . . . the hills we die on

Win this hill or die trying . . . I have no idea who said that, maybe nobody, maybe everybody in a war, but the idea is that this is a cause worth giving everything for. Other things are worth pursuing, but not at all costs. These are things worth great sacrifice.

My younger sister goes to a really cool church. It's so big and cool it has an IT department that she is part of. And they're so big and cool they give their sermon cds (and coffee) away for free, so she gives them to me sometimes. One of them was a series called "The Hills We Die On" and it was about the 7 or so things that were most important to them as a church. It was cool. Of course.

When people ask me, "How do you do it?", and they do, for whatever reason, my standard answer is, "Not very well." What I really mean by that is that we have chosen some hills that are worth dying on, and we let some others go.

There is little value in describing all the things we are not focused on, but there might be some value, at least for me, in naming what those hills are for us. What are your priorities? What are your values? What do you want to be when you grow up?

So, in no particular order, here are the things we think are worth fighting for, sacrificing for, dying for. This is who we want to be when we grow up.

Kindness. I want my children to be kind to each other. I want them to be each other's cheerleaders, biggest fans. I want them to keep a short list, to forgive each other, to not play the part of the accuser. I tell them to let me be the bad guy, that we only need one ogre, that they get to have fun together and laugh and love each other. I tell my boys to protect the girls, and everybody to look after everyone smaller.

Choosing friends wisely, even if that means not having very close friends at times. People are known by the company they keep, and they are shaped by the fellowship they choose. We are influenced by those we spend time with. So I encourage my children to be with the friends who respect us and their own parents, who have a similar value system (similar hills they die on), not just now, but looking down the road at where they are headed.

Modesty and purity in sexuality, guarding our minds, hearts, eyes, ears, spirits against the values of the world. If an outfit is questionable, we pitch it. Choosing not to focus on romance and girlfriends and boyfriends, not desiring to awaken love before it is time, but instead to belong to God and to save our hearts and affections and imaginations for the one God has for them, including being ready to belong to Him alone.

Reading lots of good books, and especially the Bible.

Doing things like school, chores, and even brushing teeth, not just so you can check it off, but to learn and become responsible and have clean teeth. Doing all things unto the glory of God. Learning character, hard work, discipline through the tasks we have, not as much for the sake of the task getting done, but for the sake of training the character.

Taking care of the bodies God gave us, being healthy, eating good food, stopping when we are full. For us, this does not include sacrificing time, money, and youth to lots of individual sports activities, but rather doing things as a family that build our bodies.

Keeping the family and not the peer group as the center of our kids' lives. Being the primary influence in their lives and not passing the responsibility for their discipleship to anyone else.

But honestly, there is one hill we die on. All those other things are valuable, but there is one thing, one desire, one thing I'd like to be really good at, one thing that when people look at me, I'd like them to be able to say, she excelled at that thing. I would like to be great at loving Jesus. I'd like them to say that I know Him. That when I sing, they can feel Him or hear Him or trust Him like they couldn't before. I want to be better at being His than I am at anything else.

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