5 minutes in the morning

First of all, I really should apologize for the redundancy I am certain is rampant in this blog. I'm probably cyclical, so that if you have read back to a certain date, I begin to repeat myself. So, if I've said all this before, sorry. I just write what's on my mind, and I don't always remember what was on my mind before.

I suppose this falls in the "how do you do it" category, although no one really asks me, "Hey, how can we have a great marriage like yours?" Actually, they make flippant comments like, "Don't you guys have heat?" or, "Don't you have a tv?" or, "It figures you have a lot of kids, your bed is so small." Stuff like that.

But we do have a good marriage, I think, or, at least, a better marriage than we began with, and a better marriage than we once had. There are a couple things that have made our marriage a good place to be that are maybe worth mentioning, since some 60% of marriages end in divorce, and only 10% are happily married. So here is my salient wisdom. Who am I kidding? I don't even know what salient means.

1. Access. Intimacy is not a favor my husband has to earn, not a privilege to give and take away, not a weapon I use to get what I want from him. The Bible clearly says I am his and he is mine. Only in the case of fasting is it appropriate for me to turn him away. Certainly we need to work through other marriage issues, but not in that context. I can say, "Honey, I would really enjoy our time at night together more if we were able to have a little more eye contact during the day," or whatever it is I need to say. But I belong to him. God will help me work through whatever issues and help me to forgive, even if a situation stands unresolved. I know that's hard. But God is really that big. Really.

2. Honor. I will honor my husband to his face, in front of others and behind his back. He is a gift given to me by God, actually, the other way around. I will honor him in my heart and to my children. I will speak well of him and kindly to him. When he has areas that need improvement, from my point of view (because I also have so many areas that need it), I will speak to him respectfully and will pray for him, also with respect. But I leave whatever changing of my spouse that needs to be done in the hands of God.

3. Pray. We started praying together before he leaves for work each day a few years ago. And it has made all the difference in the world. I don't know why. Well, I mean, I guess I know why. We connect. In that 5 minutes before the throne, before the day really gets rolling, even with a kid or 4 interrupting each sentence, we commune with each other and the Lord, bring our needs before the King, lift each other up for the day's labor and ask God to bless. Our prayer is full of blessing. I bless him, his work, his relationships, his time in the car. I pray for God to be his conscious companion, for him to be wise and win souls, to have opportunity to give account for the hope that is in him. I pray for him to have creative inspiration from the Lord on how to solve problems and deal with people at his work. I pray that God would speak to him about our family and would teach him how best to lead it. I honor him in the place of prayer.

Five minutes. Every morning. Makes a world of difference.