Fasting for kids

The Bible talks about solemn assemblies and fasts as things that include children and even nursing babies. I would love to know what that looked like exactly.

But fasting is something we do in our house, sometimes to take part in a corporate fast with our church, sometimes when we are making a big decision, or even because dad says that is what we are going to do. So here is what it looks like in our family.

We have done a lot of different things. Most often, the young ones fast sweets or technology. Sometimes this means no desserts, and sometimes it means we really go without sugar for a period of time. Technology means no t.v. or movies or playing games on computer or Wii or hand held devices (my phone!). Usually we still use the phone to talk and the computer to do school.

That can be tough for littles, especially depending on how much they do that stuff. They ask frequently for whatever they are missing. And that moment of asking is the golden opportunity to pray together. Here is what our echoed prayer might sound like (for a 2-5 year old):

Dear Jesus, Dear Jesus,
I want to watch TV. I want to watch TV.
I really like TV. I really like . . .
But mommy says You are better than TV.
And I want to know You better.
Please help me know You more.
Please help me know You are better than TV.
Amen

Something like that.

We have done longer fasts that were tiered. Maybe the first week we start with no TV, the second week we add no desserts, the third week we don't have sugar at all, and the last three days we just eat rice or oatmeal.

My older children this time said, we don't want to do a kid fast. We want to do something more. So they are trying a Daniel fast. One is doing bread and nuts with it. The other one tried just fruits and veggies and then added nuts. Another is fasting lunch each day; he doesn't eat between breakfast and supper.

Another couple are going to do no sugar until the last day, and then try to really fast that day.

Throughout the week, one of my jobs is to continually steer their attention away from what they and each other are not eating or drinking and toward the Lord. This is a big effort, and a constant one, but it is a good battle to fight and worth it.

We continue to live a normal life, do what we would normally do. School, chores, responsibilities all still have to happen. And attitudes need adjusted as well. I frequently send the big ones out of the kitchen and to their rooms with their Bibles or to their instruments to play it out.

Another difficult thing is when not everyone fasts the same thing. It is best if we prefer each other and don't openly eat what someone else is fasting. But that is not entirely possible, and is really part of the fast, part of the training.

But the hardest thing for me is that I am fasting more than whatever I choose to fast. Because if a big kid is only eating fruit and veggies, I'm not going to ask him/her to cut a toddler's pizza. I'm on my own in a lot of ways this week. I will ask them to suck it up sometimes (because I have to and it is a good skill to learn) but I am not asking as much as I normally do.

In fact, I barely even knew what I would fast this week. I'm fasting husband and big helpers. I'm fasting the sugar and coffee, isn't that enough?

We often, during a fast, have a family meeting each evening. It helps us remember why we're fasting, it gives us something to do instead of watching t.v. [disclaimer: we rarely watch actual programs on tv; but we do allow small people to watch a dvd or netflix thing in the evening more often than we should], and it provides a forum to talk about if we're hearing from God and praying and worshipping together. And I felt last night, listening to what my big kids were hearing from God, that I will get out of this what I put into it. So I'm kind of combining what my biggest kids are doing, modified for a nursing mom: eating fruits, veggies, lean protein, dairy, and skipping lunch.

There are lots of different ways to fast, and whatever you fast, if you miss whatever you're fasting, it is a real fast. I think fasting for small people is a good thing to learn/experience. I think it gets them ready to do it better when they are old enough to get it more. It teaches them, and us, to make our flesh submit to our spirits. And that's good. It's a fight worth fighting.