Boy or girl?

In this age of technology, when ultrasounds are frequent and there's even something you can pee on or in early in pregnancy that tells you a probable gender, we are counter cultural in a way that is totally not spiritual. We do not find out the gender of our babies ahead of time.

Why?

Well, for one thing, we never have. We can't start now!

Secondly, we don't really need to know. We go in with two names, two coming home outfits, and we're good. It's not like we're gonna paint a room pink or blue or anything. Yellow and green are my favorite colors, so even if I knew what the baby would be, that's the stuff I like anyway.

Finally, we (I) think it is a great way to get through and end labor. Making a phone call in the middle of the night saying, "It's a ____ !" is so much more fun than, "She's here."

We have some first names, and are entirely unsure of middle names, but have some good potential front runners, so I'm not too panicked. We picked the names, in part, related to meanings that have to do with things we are believing God for.

And sometimes I let myself think a little about what if it's a _______ ?

What if it's a boy? Well, that would be unbelievable. My favorite moms growing up were moms of boys. And, as a mom with 7, that would make me one of those kinds of moms. Great senses of humor, easy going, not freaked out with a little blood, snacks and bandaids flowing freely - that's the kind of mom I pictured myself being.

My mom had one son. Her mom had one son. My dad's mom had one son. I kind of figured you only get one. And I have rejoiced greatly with each son. Sons are something special. I remember calling my dad after my second son was born, sitting on the couch, watching March Madness (basketball) with my SONS. "Dad," I said, "I'm just sitting here watching basketball with my boys. Just wanted to let you know." So very cool.

But then I think, what if I have a daughter? My daughters are my delight, my treasures. They sing with me and with each other. They draw and create and cook. Crayons and paints and colored pencils, scissors and glue and lots of paper. Fabric and ribbons, trying to remember how to sew again and experimenting with new recipes.

They are full of beauty and grace. They dance and worship and love the babies. And having another little girl when I have two little girls would be just pure sweetness. I'm not a person who eats desserts and says, that's too sweet, or too rich. No such of a thing.

I don't get tired of sweet girl-ness. I love matching outfits and cute hair (although, when it happens, it is more likely that my elder daughters did it to them). I especially love cute sleepy girls "uggling" with their daddy.

My girls are an expression of the better version of me. I see in them the person I wish I was, the person I try to be, the person I was once and try to get back to sometimes. Play the song In my Daughter's Eyes by Martina McBride. That's how I feel about daughters.

So am I hoping for one or the other? Well, for the sake of my youngest, who is a boy following two girls, I think another boy would be grand. But no. As the most blessed woman I know, I wouldn't dare to form a strong preference, when God knows so much better than I do who best to put in our family.

Sometimes when I have had a preference in a pregnancy, I pray specifically for God to prepare my heart for whatever He has made in me. And He has, marvelously.

So, boy or girl? I have no idea.