Running my race

Today I weigh the same number of pounds that I weighed when we went on our cruise 2 years ago, 207. I jogged a 5K on the deck of that ship (with strangers cheering me on). The difference is that I am 28 weeks pregnant now. Which translates into at least 10 lbs of pregnancy weight (virtual weight then being 197 or less, the range for weight gain at 28 weeks is 10-22 lbs).

So I am pleased but not satisfied. I have had several pig out days, and haven't been very committed to my goal. That happened with my 9th pregnancy as well - I did great for a while and then coasted to the end.

But I have a goal. It might be a little ridiculous, but I have a weight in mind that I would like to weigh when I deliver (187). If I don't get there, that's ok. But if I don't try, I won't get anywhere close.

Don't worry, I'm eating plenty of calories, plenty of protein, plenty of veggies, taking my vitamins (most days). I'm drinking lots of water. But I have an eating plan, and I'm charting it on the computer.

And the plan extends after baby. I want to be a healthy mom. I want to be a mom my kids can be proud of. I'm going for it.

My sisters and I have been working on this together. They are both thin and beautiful. My younger sister runs marathons. But they both have to fight for it. So my younger sister gave us both a copy of a book, "Made to Crave" and I'm maybe a 6th of the way through it. I think the gist of it is that God could have made us differently, but that our food cravings (or whatever we struggle with) are meant to turn us to Him. She talks about praying when you crave and "building a garden path one stone at a time".

I am loving that image. And I am trying. I am trying to turn to Him when I am wanting. And I am on a freeze right now. I am only eating what I need, nothing that isn't good for me, nothing that isn't necessary. That eliminates options and simplifies the decision process.

Today I had a peanut butter protein shake for breakfast, will have chicken salad on bell pepper for lunch, deviled eggs for a snack, and zucchini (subbed for spaghetti) and meatballs for supper. Doesn't that sound satisfying? That and lots of water, and I am content with my eating.

I have the eye of the tiger. I am not giving up. I have 12 short weeks left in what may be my last pregnancy (because people my age don't necessarily get pregnant, unless of course, God gives them more gifts, and in that case, bring 'em on!) and I want to give it everything I've got.

It is possible that I could, when the baby is a couple weeks old, weigh less than I have weighed in 19 years (170?). It is possible I could, when the baby is a year old, weigh the appropriate weight for my not-very-substantial height (132 or so). It could happen. I might be not very toned with 17 years of baby blab hanging on me, but I could get there. And I have the equipment and knowledge to tone at least some of that beauty up.

Just because I haven't been healthy in many years doesn't mean I can't be, and soon (a year is soon). I've been chasing this goal for a very long time, and it actually seems a little bit attainable. And that, friends, is a new and incredible feeling.