Healing

I have written a song. Goes like this:

Lower me down through the roof, forgive me of my sin
Stir the waters up again, I need someone to help me in
Spit in the dirt, put some clay in my eyes
Wash me in the muddy river seven times
I believe, help me believe
You are my Healer

If I can just touch Your face, I know I can be whole
I'm not dead, I'm asleep, come awaken my soul
Just touch me Lord, say the word, it is done
Just call me forth from the grave and I'll come
I believe, help me believe
You are my Healer

Lord I believe that
Your Word is true and
You are the same so
I trust in You

That I will live and will not die, I will live and will not die . . .
You are my Healer

There is nothing I am facing You don't have dominion over
There's no weapon formed against me, and no enemy can prosper
Jesus, Name above all names, from forever to forever
I am trusting in Your Word, words that You have spoken over me


Healing is a tricky, hard, divisive thing. Because, on the one hand, we really believe that God can and does heal. It is in the Bible. I believe the Bible. Not sure what the point is in being a Christian if you don't believe the Bible.

But the Bible says all sorts of things about healing, lots of them having to do with faith. And faith is a hard thing to quantify and understand, and sometimes the stuff I've heard people teach about faith makes me feel like I'm playing some sort of mental posturing game. On the one hand, I absolutely believe that He can . . . anything. On the other hand, I don't necessarily believe that He will because He doesn't always. Sometimes He does. Sometimes He doesn't.

So then there's kind of a question of what happened when He didn't. Was it not in the plan? Did He have something else in mind? Or did we not pray or fast or believe enough? Did we flunk?

There are mostly examples in the Bible of when He did. There are no stories of a guy coming up and saying, hey, if you feel like it, could you maybe heal me? And Jesus saying, sorry, man, you don't have enough faith.

There is the thing about how He couldn't or didn't do many miracles in his hometown. And Paul had that thorn thing. And Jacob's thigh got messed up when he wrestled with God and was never right again. But most of the stories are success stories.

And in many of them, He says something like, your faith has healed you. So faith/healing preachers quote that and tell lots of stories about people who were healed in order to build up the faith in the room before they pray for healing. The Centurian who said, you don't have to come, just say the word. The hemorrhaging chick who touches his cloak in the crowd. The Gentile mother who let Him call her a dog, and said, fine, just give us the crumbs that fell off the table. The blind man screaming out, "Son of David, have mercy."

But there are lots of stories where the person didn't have all that much faith. They guy whose friends lowered him through the roof, I guess his friends had the faith that time. The man who couldn't get to the water in time (and did anyone else notice that Jesus didn't seem to heal everybody that was hanging out there, just him) who wasn't even sure he wanted to be healed. The dude whose body they threw on Elisha's grave and he came back to life. The funeral procession Jesus stopped for the widow's only child.

He had compassion, it says.

And all those questions and uncertainties are just unresolved stuff, until someone you love or someone you know or know of that you really want to live is really sick, and needs to be healed or they're going to die. And then it's personal. God, now would be a really good time for You to heal.

And I'm praying and saying, You healed people who hardly knew Who You were, people Who didn't even believe in You. How much more, for those who seek Your face night and day, who love You with their whole lives? How much more then, God?

And as you pray and fast and worship and pray and believe and pray, there is this nagging question in the back of your mind that you don't acknowledge because that would be not-faith, and you don't want to jinx the thing, but it's there, that says, what if He doesn't? What if we are at a funeral and you've written this song and it doesn't happen? Is He still good then? What if He can help but doesn't? What do you think about a God Who lets bad stuff happen to people He loves? He is all powerful. He can stop bad stuff from happening. You know He can and sometimes He does, so what do you do with Him if He doesn't?

Some people just decide that He mostly doesn't do that anymore. They frame whole theologies about it. We call them Cessationists. (not sure about that spelling) God is done talking, done working miracles, done healing. All that stuff ended with the apostles.

Some people believe He still can and does, but since it is so risky, whether He will or not, they just don't ask. If I don't ask Him for it, I won't be disappointed if He doesn't do it.

But He is the same God. He still has compassion. The rules have not changed. He has not changed. He still has sent us to preach, baptize, cast out demons and heal the sick. It's one of the last things He said. The apostles were people just like us. Heck, they walked and talked with Him and ate fish He'd cooked. We're doing the whole thing on faith.

I am certain He does and can and will. But what if He doesn't?

Remember Hananiah, Azariah and Mishael? You may better know them as Shadrach, Mishach and Abednego. Rack, Shack, and Benny. They said something to Nebby K that is one of my favorite bits in the Bible. They said, "Our God is able to save us, but even if He doesn't, we're not going to bow."

Our God can, but even if He doesn't.

The other morning I was praying with friends, fellow comrades at arms, really. And I was wrestling with that thing, and had Rack, Shack and Benny in mind, and I had a revelation. Not just a head revelation. A whole body, mind and spirit revelation. He is Good and He is God no matter what. And it seemed to me, in a way I was honestly a little embarrassed of, that whether He healed or not didn't matter. His goodness was so huge and pervasive and I felt so very certain that whatever He did was just right and I was the opposite of afraid.

I am pressing in. I am believing. I am fasting and singing the song, my friend will live and will not die, she will live and will not die, she will live and will not die, she will live and will not die. And I am confident in the superlative that He is good in a way that is above and beyond all that I can ask or think.

Praise Jesus.