Better than 10 sons

This is what they said about Ruth. She was better to Naomi than 10 sons.

Before I say more, I should clarify that these are my lofty ideals, and I highly doubt that my mother in law would actually say that I am better to her than 10 sons. It is simply my heart's desire.

I wish to be and pray to be such a blessing to the woman who gave life to my husband that she and all who know her would say of me that I am better to her than ten sons.

Here are some specific things I am trying to do toward that goal:

I am trying to turn any and all negative emotions into prayers for blessing, for healing, for her to know God's love for her, His presence, for His Word to come alive when she reads it and for her to be reminded of it when she is away from it, for Him to bless her work, her plants, her marriage, and her relationships. I pray that my children would be a blessing to her. Especially when the enemy reminds me of our differences, I try to lift her up to the Lord and ask His blessing on her.

(Bunny trail: I am actually convicted to do that any time my extremely critical brain points out some flaw or weakness in someone else - to immediately bathe that person in prayer, prayer that lifts him or her up and doesn't tear down, knowing that Jesus loves that person who is on my nerves or who I'm judging, and so, in my prayers, I am blessing them and praying God would teach them and grow and strengthen them however He sees fit - I'm not telling Him what is wrong with them, I'm praying the same things I pray for myself or my children - wisdom, peace, mercy, nearness of God, joy in Him, etc)

I am trying to honor her desires. I am not trying necessarily to please her, because we are different enough that pleasing her is probably not always realistic. But I do desire to honor her wishes, values, and ways of doing things as much as possible.

Finally, I am trying to never make my husband choose between my happiness and hers. There are times when he is in this position, but I hope to never put him there. If I am not pleased with the way something turns out, I try very much to keep my disappointment between me and the Lord, and not put my beloved in a place where he has to make an impossible choice.

Now he's a smart guy, and I'm a sub-par actor, so he often is aware of my struggle. But I'm still trying to affirm him as husband, and make sure he doesn't feel like I'm mad at him because he's trying to be a good son. My mother-in-law is most pleased with me when she sees that her son is happy and loved by me. She doesn't want me to try to please her. She wants me to please her son.

It is possible that I have, in reality, caused more pain than joy over the last 20+ years, but I have learned a lot through the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, and am probably a better person for it.

And so, like Ruth, I hope that I can be a blessing to her as well. But to be honest, as a mother of 6 sons, I can't imagine anything, especially me, being better than 10 of them.