Rules of Engagement

These are the rules I try to fight by in marriage battles.

1. Always remember to never use the words 'always' or 'never' in a fair fight.

2. No spear throwing, meaning, if a spear (insult or accusation) is thrown at you, don't pick it up and throw it back.

3. If what you are about to say will tear your house down rather than build it up, don't say it.

4. Deal with the current issue, not with a list of historic issues. If you are bringing up history, you have unforgiveness problems.

5. Don't bother to make a joke in a fight. If one or both of you is hurting, the sense of humor function is probably turned off, and attempted humor may make more pain.

6. Don't fight angry. Work the anger and emotions out between you and God, then talk about the problem when you are in control of your emotions.

7. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8. Go for the win-win-win. If you feel better but your spouse is laying bleeding on the floor, you have not won anything.

9. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

10. Wait until a good time to talk. It is not only appropriate to call for a cooling off period, it is critical.

11. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Or, put another way, I desperately need Christ to have mercy on me, therefore, I will extend mercy to others, including and especially my husband.

12. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.

13. Hope in God, Who is faithful, and Who gave you your spouse. Nothing is too hard for Him. The heart of the king is in the hand of the Lord, and He turns it whichever way He wants it to go.

14. You have an enemy, and you are not married to him.

15. Read Proverbs often. Daily if possible.

16. After you fight, make up. You know what I mean. Do it.