(written from the perspective of one who didn't)
DISCLAIMER FOR MY YOUNGER READERS - please have Mom read it first and make sure she wants you to read this. Okay?
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Space for going to talk to mom without reading the blog first . . .
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1. kisses are the beginning of sex.
They are the opening up of one's self. They are the mixing of one person's spit with another person's spit. Sorry, but that's the disgusting truth. I'm not talking about the kind of kisses you give your grandma before you leave her house or to say thanks for the new sweater. But try to keep a kiss shared with someone you are attracted to on the grandma level (actually, I advocate that you DON'T try) and you'll find that line is very easy to cross and very difficult to return from (see #3). Sexual purity means not just keeping from having s.e.x. It means not doing things that resemble or inspire sex. This includes being mindful of how you dance, how you dress, how you treat the opposite gender, how you walk, and yes, how you kiss.
2. if you kiss someone who isn't your husband/wife, they very likely are someone else's husband or wife.
I have been married for nearly 20 years. It would be grotesquely inappropriate for my husband to kiss another woman. Those kisses are mine. I would not want him to practice on someone else, getting technique lessons from another teacher. Those are just ours. If it isn't appropriate to do after you're married with someone else's spouse, you shouldn't do it before marriage. Until you're married, you're not.
3. the law of diminishing returns.
I think I was raised in a culture (not necessarily what my parents did or did not teach me, just the culture of the w.a.s.p.y environment I was a part of) of just making it across the finish line with your actual virginity in tact. To get married without having had actual sex. If that is your goal, I still recommend saving kisses for this reason. In my experience, which I, again, do not recommend, the amount of physical intimacy you experience with a person you like makes you want more. It's like Jim Gaffigan says about bacon - eating bacon only makes you thirsty . . . for more bacon! Being physically intimate with someone makes you want to be more physically intimate. God designed it that way. He wants us to be intimate with our spouse. It's a great idea. But once begun, it is extremely difficult and frustrating to stop that process. Especially if you are trying to maintain purity over a long period of time. Starting a movie and pushing the pause button right when you're getting to the good part for a couple years is not a great idea. It doesn't work for our emotions, for our bodies, or for the dvd player. We are made to want to finish what we start. Don't start until it is appropriate to finish.
4. don't extend your hand farther than you can safely pull it back.
In other words, kissing someone communicates a belonging and a commitment and a promise. Even if you don't mean it to say that, it does. That is why it would feel really crappy to kiss someone and then see them kissing someone else (and why the game 'spin the bottle' is such an incredibly stupid idea). But it also does something kind of marital in your heart. And if that person winds up not being yours, that unspoken promise gets broken, and with it, your heart.
5. kissing messes up your ability to think, and hear, clearly.
When you are a young adult, trying to find God's plan for your life, listening to His voice, and the voices of wise counsel, you need to be able to think. Wise choices in relationships are not made well under the influence of hormonal attachment. Wisdom is not to be found in that giddy feeling that happens when you realize he/she REALLY likes you. I just watched most of a movie called "The King's Speech". (I'm afraid I did watch the R version, but I believe there is a non-cussing version that I would recommend.) In it [SPOILER], the crown prince is so desperately in love with a woman he cannot live without (read: extremely physically entangled) that he actually abdicates the throne of England. This is not good decision making. It is generally glorified by Hollywood as 'following your heart', but is not actually wise in real life. You are deciding who to marry, one of the most important and long lasting decisions you will every make. You want a clear head. This is a hard decision to undo. And if you are a God-fearing Christian, once you say I do, you're pretty well stuck. You need all your wits about you to know if this is a guy/girl you really want to share the next 70 or so years with. You really need to get this right. A life time is a long time to walk out an impulse.
So there you have it folks, my top five reasons to save your kisses till the altar. I know that sounds ridiculous, but that's what I'm recommending.
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