so after lunch, i ran out the door with a handful of M&Ms. when we got back, i had a cup of hot chocolate, one more M which i thought was one of those trick peanut ones that is perfectly round and has no nut (they should sell whole bags of those), but it actually had one, and 1 1/2 pieces of frozen pizza. had the day ended there, we could have called it a triumph.
but alas and alak and aaack, there was a Christmas party. on the grand scale, i maybe didn't do too bad. i ate some veggies and delicious hummus, a couple stuffed mushrooms, a couple ham wrapped pickles, a taquito, a couple dips with crackers, a krispie kreme donut, a couple tiny brownies, (oh my gosh, are we done yet!?) and a chocolate chip cookie. i mostly noticed my issue when everyone else was done eating and i had a plate with 4 different desserts on it.
well putting a Christmas party at the end of day one was maybe not a great idea.
i am aware that i think wrongly of myself. i am a small person. yet i put things on my plate as if i were a big person, or as if i were a person about to go on a very long journey to a place where they don't have any food but gruel.
love, yeah; joy, yes; peace, mostly; patience, yes-some; kindness, mostly; goodness, well, maybe not; faithfulness, i guess; gentleness, sure; and SELF CONTROL. mmmn. here's my self control: i brush and floss my teeth every night. when my kids spill or break something, i don't yell at them (unless they try to talk to me while i'm cleaning it up - or if they have bare feet and are walking through the newly formed glass shards). when i play games with my kids or others and i'm losing, i choose to detach my emotions from the game and enjoy playing anyway.
self control with eating disengages when i take in sugar. it's an amazing trick. it's hard to commit to long-term, but i simply do much better without sugar. oy-vey. i like sugar.
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