How then shall we live?

i grew up believing food = celebration = happy = good = escape. our whole culture is wired that way. how do i change that in my house? how do i raise my children to see food as sustenence? what does it look like? how do we celebrate in a way that is not centered around eating?

i don't know the answers. i just know we're not doing it right, and that in the long run, as long as i'm choosing between eating what my kids are eating and eating my healthy food, i will always struggle with the nibble monster. but really, i need to teach them to eat healthy too, so that their food is my food and vice versa.

some of this i know how to do: i need to get back to making more real food - soups, breads, salads, and get away from the convenience and junk. i need to do better at getting the veggies out. i've thrown away more uneaten vegetables than most people eat in a life time. i buy them but am too tired or lazy to get them out. (because it is soooo hard to cut broccoli or get carrots out of a bag!)

i have said in the past that being a mom is just deciding who is sad at that moment. i'm not making everybody happy, i'm just deciding who's turn it is to be sad. well now, i feel that way about all my spinning plates. which ones do i keep going, which ones do i let slow down, and which ones crash?

my life in God comes first, but only in my heart, not in my reality.
my marriage comes second, but that includes some other things. the condition of my house affects my marriage. my weight is certainly connected to what kind of wife i am.
being a mama is 3rd, and that also is impacted by my health.

but even though my health is an integral part of some of my highest priorities, when you're on call with a baby who doesn't sleep much, a toddler who gets into trouble all the time, a preschooler who puts him up to it, and 7 students of varying abilities and temperaments . . . it is hard to make important things be important. i'm having a hard time keeping up with the urgent.

it's the night before church, and there are not matched socks or clean cereal bowls.