promotion

God told me years ago not to promote myself. It's certainly scriptural. Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord and He (and He) will lift you up. Okay, that's a song, but it's based on a scripture.

At any rate, that hasn't been hard to do, until now. Now it feels almost irresponsible. Not only do I have a genuine, honest-to-goodness ego to care for, but I've also invested time (mostly someone else's), I've invested money, and I have these boxes containing hundreds of copies of my heart in liquid form, all poured out for people to listen to.

The cocky thing about making a thousand cds is that you're making an assumption that people want to hear what's on it. I don't have a thousand friends. According to Facebook, I have 176 give or take. So right now, with 8+ boxes of cds sitting in my kitchen, I feel very vulnerable and a little ridiculous.

I suppose it's about trust. Trust that God has a plan, that He will use our little labor of love to do good stuff. Trust that if it impacts 1 person positively, that in God's economy, it was worth it. He's weird like that.

And I also have to trust God with my heart, with my gift. But ohhhh, it feels so naked right now. I have bared (am baring) my very soul to whomever. What if 'whomever' doesn't like what they hear? Wait a minute, I think I remember learning this lesson . . . disc 2, track 6 "You will never reject me, You will never forsake me."

I am putting all my eggs in this one basket - I trust Jesus. He gets my cds, my kids, my marriage, my house, my heart and my big blue van.